Observing Chinese Mourning Traditions

I believe I am correct in saying that my Grandmother is the person in Stockton who people in the Chinese community call to ask questions about traditional rituals regarding births, weddings and funerals. My Grandma is a wealth of information, and these traditions are very important to her.

My family and I are learning about many of these traditions, trying our best to follow all of them. Some I knew about, and many I didn't.

I know that these traditions may be different for different families. These are the traditions that my Grandmother and my family will follow in honor to mourn the death of my Grandfather:

For the next 30 days, we will not wear anything with the colors red, or pink. We also must not wear anything with floral prints.

We will not attend any kind of celebrations for the next month: no parties, weddings, or social gatherings.

For the 3-days of funeral-related events, we will not wear watches or jewelry. (wedding bands are acceptable.)

I spent the day in Stockon today. My cousin and my niece (my cousin's eldest daughter) assisted our Great Aunties in assembling the red and white envelopes. The white envelop contained a piece of hard candy as well as some denomination of money. (in our case, a quarter.) The red envelope contains money as well.

The envelopes are given to people who will come to the house to pay their respect. They must eat the candy before they leave - the sweetness of the candy is meant to take away the bitterness of the death. The money is meant to be spent on something sweet as well. It must be spent, and not saved.

We had quite an assembly line going between the 6 of us, and assembled about 750 envelops in total. They will also be distributed at the funeral.

I am proud that my Grandmother continues these traditions, and honored that she is passing them along to each of us.