Terri's friends and family have set up an memorial page online so that Terri's friends can share memories of her for her kids to read when they are older.
I've written several posts about Terri and our special friendship before, but I thought I'd share what I wrote on her Memorial site here as well. I hope my memories of Terri can bring a small amount of comfort to Terri's family in the days, weeks and years to come.
For the last 39 years, I have always described Terri as "My best friend from first grade". Terri and I met in January, 1976 when my family had moved to Fresno, and I started my first day of first grade at my new school (Fig Garden Elementary School). We became immediate best friends. My earliest memory of Terri was sometime in the next few months when I had to present an oral report on the bald eagle. When I was done, Terri gave me a hug and told me how proud she was of me. We spent the rest of first grade together, and played together through the summer until her family moved to Fair Oaks in August of that same year. My favorite memories of that time include: a class field trip to the zoo, walking over to her house to play throughout the summer, listening to her Mom play the piano, our kool-aid stand in front of her house, and Terri trying to convince me to play the role of "Oscar Goldman" in the "Six Million Dollar Man" film that she was planning to film and direct!
After she moved away with her family, Terri and I would write letters to each other throughout our years in elementary, junior high, high school, college and beyond. I'm not sure how often we wrote each other, but I'm pretty certain it was at least once a month or so, especially when we were younger. We would write letters, draw pictures, and even send cassette tapes with recordings of us playing piano, talking, and even of Terri singing (she had a beautiful voice!). I'm certain I still have many of those letter, and probably a few cassette tapes at my parent's house. I'll have to look for them someday soon. We shared lots of common interests – I'm sure there were plenty of letters about our mutual love of Star Wars and Battlestar Galactica! :)
Terri, Trina and Tiffini, Summer of 1977
Terri and her family came back to Fresno to visit the summer after they moved away, then we didn't see each other again until we were in 10th grade. During our Spring Break of our sophomore year of high school, Terri joined my family in Lake Tahoe for a week. We hadn't seen each other in person in over 8 years, but we picked up right where we left off, and got along immediately as best friends do. I remember laughing a lot with her, and just being so happy to spend time with her. That's when I knew for sure that we were friends for life. After that visit, I believe we spent a week or so with each other the following summer – me visiting her family in Fair Oaks, and she coming down to Milpitas. My absolute favorite memory of those visits were when we broke out all of my old Star Wars actions figures, playsets and die cast model ships, and her Super 8 camera. We made a 3-4 minute film, using the "Story of Star Wars" album as the narration and soundtrack, and moved the figures around with our hands and fishing line to recreate the action. It was hilarious. We couldn't stop laughing. Years later, after Terri and Derek had married and I visited them in Burbank, Terri found that old film and played the movie for us. It was just as campy and funny as we remembered it. That is a great memory.
The next time I saw Terri after high school was at Terri and Derek's incredible Star Wars themed wedding in 1994. It was such a special occasion, and perfectly suited to them. Who else would have C3PO and R2D2 as their wedding cake topper, and the entire cast of Star Wars (albeit in life-sized cardboard cut out versions) in the lobby of their reception? And the Star Wars themed trading cards?! Absolute perfection. If ever there was a couple that was meant to be together, it was Terri and Derek.
at Terri and Derek's wedding, 1994
Terri and Derek made the drive from Burbank to San Francisco to attend my wedding to my husband, Dick, in 2005. It meant so much to me to have them there. I love that we were at each other's weddings – such important milestones in our lives.
The day after my wedding, 2005
The last time I saw Terri was 14 months ago, in November, 2013. I made a special trip down to Burbank to spend a couple of days with Terri, Derek and the kids. It was the most special two days that I ever spent with Terri, and I cherished every minute of it. I told Terri not to plan anything special - I just wanted to spend time with them, during their daily routine. We picked up the kids from school, watched one of Maren's softball games, watched the kids play Mindcraft at home, had meals together at home, and went on a wonderful tour with Derek at the Disney Studios. The best part for me was that I had a chance to witness Terri and Derek be the most wonderful parents to Deacon and Maren, and incredible, supportive spouses to each other. I also had a great time painting Terri's slow cooker and transforming it into an R2D2!
November 2013 - my visit with Terri and her family in Burbank
I can probably count on two hands the number of times that I physically saw Terri in person, yet I have always considered her to be one of my very best friends. That's the thing that struck me hardest when I got the news of her passing: although I rarely saw her face-to-face, she was always there – only a letter, an email, a text message, a blog post away. She was a constant friend, someone that I thought of on a regular basis, someone that I loved for 39 years.
In the greatest stroke of irony, I was just completing a long email to Terri on the morning that I received Derek's message of her passing. I had thought about Terri the day before on her Birthday countless times, and for no good reason, delayed writing a birthday message to her until the next morning – something that I regret deeply now. This is a habit that we both seemed to have when writing each other. I can't remember how many times our letters started with, "Sorry I'm a little late…". I know she'd understand, but still, I wish I had gotten in one more letter to her.
The news of her passing was devastating to me, and I'm still having a hard time wrapping my head around the fact that she's no longer with us.
My thoughts and love go out to Derek, Deacon and Maren. She loved you all so much, and that loved showed in everything she said and did. I'm trying hard to remember specific stories or memories to share with you, so you might have yet another piece of her to hold on to in your hearts. The best I can do right now is to tell you how she made me feel during the lifetime that I knew her as a friend.: She was full of love. She was one of the most beautiful people I've ever known, inside and out. She was strong and determined, smart, talented and funny. I remember thinking she was the smartest girl in our class when we were in first grade together. :) She had a beautiful singing voice, and I'm so glad that shared it with so many. She loved movies, and she loved making them. I can remember her directing me in the films she planned to make when we were just five and six years old! She would also write to me when we were young telling me about all the movies she was working on under her "Voelz-a-Vision" Studios. She was loving and kind. She had a huge heart. She loved her family deeply, and she was a very good friend.
I've been keeping a blog since 2003, and have a few posts about Terri and our friendship. They mostly recall the same stories from our friendship that I've written here, but some with more detail. They also include some photos of us throughout the years.
Here they are:
My Best friend from First Grade (Oct, 2003): http://trinachow.blogspot.com/2003/10/my-best-friend-from-first-grade.html
My visit with Terri and her family in November, 2013 (this one has a lot of the same stories and photos as the first, but some new ones as well): http://trinachow.blogspot.com/2013/11/vacation-of-visiting-friends-part-5.html
Our day at the Disney Studios, and Maren's softball game (Nov 2013): http://trinachow.blogspot.com/2013/11/day-with-terri-2-disney-studio-lot.html
The creation of the Crock Pot R2-D2 (Nov 2013): http://trinachow.blogspot.com/2013/11/the-worlds-only-r2-d2-crock-pot.html
A day at Disneyland with my friend, Sherilyn, when we met up with the Alff Family (Nov 2013): http://trinachow.blogspot.com/2013/11/vacation-of-visiting-friends-part-6.html
I know this is a very long post. I feel like I just want to get all my memories out to share with the World, and to make sure that everyone knows what a beautiful and special person Terri was.
My heart is heavy with grief, and I will miss my dear friend deeply. Our 39 year friendship was one of the greatest gifts of my life. I love you, Terri, and I can't imagine a world without you in it.
No comments:
Post a Comment